Faceless Desires

I love finding inspiration, especially in the amazing writings and prompts given by the fabulous artists here on Substack. It took me a minute, but after reading the article Horrifying Atrocities as Inspiration by and I felt inspired by the prompt:

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedFaceless DesiresAs I lumber Padded, hidden, heavy With glorious lightEndless pockets Bulging, overflowing, sown tightGlittering memorial dust Lines my veins It trickles out of Every pore and orifice unseenFiltering through Bulbous sacks of collecting truths Expansive pockets Filled with shimmering strifeThe shine attracts The swiftly flicking wristOf a cut-purse seeking riches An easy lifeThe golden allure Burying those Whose footing's unsureIn the suffocating sorrowsI've been synthesizing with efficiency let spread and multiplyExpanding and inflating Like a caustic foamy disease of wantingThere is no glory In stealing the shine off Someone else's vibrant mindThey call it the "Midas Touch"For there is no gift of alchemyNo mortal man can Change lead to goldTo magically transform Is to stand Forever a statue in remembrance To ignorance in the face of tribute Every timeStaring into faceless Golden eyes ofDesire

As someone who has endured forms of abuse most of my life, I dove into the feeling of how when you hold on to emotional pain, it can start to eat away at you and cause you physical pain, transforming you from the inside out, turning you into another being altogether.

Living with your abusers, having to put the truths away, and having to hide your sorrow can make you start to feel like a monster with evil lurking inside of you. Until one day, someone or some triggering event comes along and opens up these deep pockets you didn’t even know were sown up inside of you, and it all comes spilling out. I have managed to turn my pain into gold, so to speak, writing about it. But that doesn’t make it any less all-consuming.

Getting to the point where I can see past the big, lumpy, unwieldy shape I have been dealing with for the longest time and defining each experience’s outline. Letting the contents of each memory spill out and muck about in it for as long as I need to get through this. That is worth its weight in gold for me.

K.B. Silver